My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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