Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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