hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
