M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
