its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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