Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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