yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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