Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
