Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
