Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Randomize
