I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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