I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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