that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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