I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
