I will die if light touches me.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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