My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
