I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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