is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Damn victory sex feels great
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