We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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