i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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