shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
