i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
