dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
