and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
