some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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