And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
