I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
