Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
