I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
