So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
