break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
