The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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