He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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