Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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