bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
