im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
