that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
