Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
