Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
