i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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