seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
