dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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