I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
