STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
