Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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