his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
