Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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