Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
