i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
