what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
