apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
